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I was born in the shiny country of Brazil. However, I always wanted to experience countries where I could enjoy every season. I felt there was a winter in my memory. Perhaps, where all the trees are at rest, yet underneath, they are growing towards spring. Those colors and moods were trapped in my feelings and somehow, lost in my imagination. I needed a channel to release it. So, I got addicted to drawing. And reading. I also got inspired by beauty, not only form, but the beauty of mind. Philosophy became my first passion as a rebellious young girl. Idealistic, I wanted a world that was not cruel. When you don't fit much in "reality", people define you as a strange person. Because of that, for many years, I have been reading about healing, especially metaphysics.
I found that human development should unveil the emotional body as well as the mental body - thoughts and emotions should be aligned. I say that because since we are conceived, we are susceptible to the attention and affection of those humans who will take care of our basic needs. They will shape our first idea of the world. And how worthy we feel we are, or not. During the early years of our lives, those impressions will define how we choose to advance in our development, or not. I could look like a strange person, but I was just not understood. Generations of people behind my parents, including them, were not understood. Love has never been an easy subject. Great leaders in our civilization tried to explain about Love.
I was raised Catholic and Jesus has been someone who I always studied scientifically. There is something about the mind that discerns all the inspiration I have from all forms, perhaps the mind that is spiritual. We can't prove the spiritual world, but we can accept we are love and based on that, all the beautiful miracles of life are perceived as possible.
My artwork is developed with the idea of expressing the reflections of my journey, my inner search, my views of human nature - a nature of love.
In my twenties, even against my desire to learn English language (because I was against the Imperialism domination) I felt in love with a German man, and between English and German, I realized English could be easier to learn and, more useful worldwide. I was surprised I could change my ideas based on love. I realized there is a universal language we all want to understand. With an Italian passport, I spent some years living in Europe, mainly in London. The romance didn't take off, but it taught me about the leap of faith and all those things my heart wanted to tell me. Those years seemed to be a long search for answers and still, facing much harder winters.
I always felt like a traveler, looking for a home for my heart. A traveler doesn't compromise much with any place more than the idea of being free to leave to the next destination. I ended up imprisoned by the idea of finding myself; I guess, we all get slaved by something. Picasso said something about "whatever you do you find yourself in chains"...We are never free. I practically refused the game of life because I never accepted to get distracted of my real journey. I was afraid to feel soulless as many people I met. I wanted to be a good lover, a lover of life, myself and others. Art for me is a possibility to express love, so I paint. Luckily, I found in California a land kissed by the sunshine and lots of See's candy stores I need to survive.
My biography about my art career might be different than the majority of artists. I started later, not late. I compiled years of studying human nature. From the deepest fears and the amazing glory of being alive. From loving as an act of need to loving as an act of freedom.
I used to say when I was younger that, some day, I would have something important to say. I hope I do. I feel it is about being - spiritual. Very simple, yet very complex. Essentially, I must say, being spiritual is living in the field of solutions. We should know, intuitively, what we came here to be. We all came here to become artists. Creating our lives. I'm also convinced that Love will always bring us back to our best vision, the one we always wanted to manifest. We need to accept it and teach at every moment who we are so, others can feel and perceive who they are, too. I'd call it a process of love conscientization. That should be a virus.
I believe art is a contemplation of our spirit and we should contemplate it with the same freedom we have to choose what God means to us.
I am currently attending classes at Mira Costa College and working towards my Art Major.
We all want to find an answer for our immortality. Creativity wants to grow and, at times, by destroying itself to grow again. Art should not be different. My work will always be gravitating towards our potential of love and also, the barriers we create against it.
Finally, I summarize my life's purpose in the words of Willian Blake:
"To see the World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand,
And Eternity in an hour." Auguries of Innocence
Oh, and I need to introduce you Cookie, the best part of my life.
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